what to do if your landline stops working

The first thing NOT to do is to call FranceTelecom on 1013.
They have many button pressing options which take time and
ultimately lead to a human, who (in my case) will be unable to
help because there is nothing wrong with the line.

There is an Orange line that will talk in Franglais,
08003644775
(hang onto this number) but even so they will insist there is no
problem.

Except the phone doesn't work.

They had me do all sorts of tricks given that the ADSL line is
fine and still assured me that the phone, which hadn't worked
at least three weeks according to my mother, is working.

Diligence revealed that Leos phone is right as rain.
They had been testing the wrong number.
Mine has been 'degroupez' without authorisation.

Now we come to the important number; English Customer
Service line for Orange. Tattoo this somewhere visible.

0800 364 775

press option 1.

They are allegedly coming on Tuesday morning to fix it.

Others have said that you should always go to the English
helplines because the service is better.

Exhaused. Off to Rennes les Bains for the weekend.